The Cafe Royal - an Apology
October 21, 2007 by VM
Dear all,
I am afraid that I shall not be able to be present at Mistress Ruthie’s wonderful drinks evening tomorrow night. I know that this will make several of you immensely upset, but I urge you to dry your tears, stiffen your upper lip and attend anyway. To make things a little easier, I will happily provide a photograph, adorned with some appropriate superscription, to all those who leave a name and forwarding address with Mistress Ruthie.
Please, do not let Mr Greeklawyer lower the tone by dragging the assembled multitude on a pub-crawl. Instead, I recommend the public reading of a suitable guide to deportment, thus ensuring that the evening serves a purpose, and providing a focus for polite conversation and enjoyment. Remember you are lawyers and do set an example to the hoi polloi.
For those of you wondering why I am unable to attend, the answer is simple. Although this may come as a surprise, it is nevertheless true that I am a fictional character.
Fear not, we shall drink soft drinks in the pub and then adjourn to a meeting room in a church to discuss poetry.
Apologies but I can’t do it either - not on the grounds of not being real, though, in my case. Have a fab time in church.
Bieng neither real nor fictional, I regret to say that such a unique position means that I shan’t be able to attend, either……..