Dear Diary,
Newcastle is a place where crime is at above average levels. That must be why the Northumbria police have spent so much time going to the Baltic Exchange and looking at the show on in the gallery there. Ever alert to the threats to their fair city the constabulary have seized a photograph as potentially pornographic. “Klara and Edda Belly Dancing” by Nan Goldin has been sold at auction in New York and exhibited internationally in seven countries, including the UK. Still, what is acceptable in London is not what people want to see in The Toon.
Dear Diary, this is the photo. It is not necessarily pleasant, but it is equally not pornographic. Fortunately, I am unknown, so when the poliss are gannin’ roond heer to have a keek at us computer I shall be ahint Mistrees Ruthie. Dinna fash lass; there is no case.
Meanwhile, perhaps Insp Gadgie can find something better to do with his time. Like investigating crime, say. The picture is apparently owned by somebody called Elton John, although I suspect he is really called John Elton. He is keeping his own counsel about matters, but believes that one should Have Mercy on the Criminal and that he should be given a little Latitude lest he get the Legal Boys involved. He is Sitting Doing Nothing because The Show Must Go On and he is not prepared to be a Whipping Boy for anybody. .
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