Competition Update

Dear Diary,

In the affaire of the ipod listening juror it rather looks as if darling Aiden has decided that discretion is the better part of valour. His request for special counsel is readily understandable. In fact it is almost as if he were one of my readers. I am sure that just as soon as Patsie has got her purse open, someone will be flying in.

Of more concern is Aidy’s apparent desire to adjourn the whole thing to a different court. I confess I do not understand it. Contempt is normally dealt with by the Judge hearing the case. In this instance it seems that the trial Judge felt unable to deal with the matter, perhaps because he did not want anyone to feel that the running of the trial was being disturbed by the need to attend to the errant juror. But the wretched juror is now whizzing round the legal system like some game of pass the parcel in reverse.

Aidy’s reason for sending the case off to another court was that he might know some of the witnesses. I was unaware that this was likely to be a problem in a contempt case. The conduct is clear and not, insofar as one can tell, in dispute. The question is whether it amounts to contempt.  Aidy appears able to distinguish between what he calls ‘mindset’ and ‘contempt’, although I confess that I am not sure I entirely follow his distinctions. So what is his problem, as our American cousins would say? He did not try the case. If he decides that persistent lateness and a refusal to listen to the evidence is not contempt then send the poor lady home and stop worrying her. If he takes the view that the conduct means that the words of the oath have not so much been ignored as completely trashed then get on with it.

Surely it cannot be that this case is wearing the wrong headgear? Aidy has apparently asked the lady to reflect upon her position. This is usually Judgespeak for ‘Say you are very sorry and I may not have to lock you up’. This translation service is something that the two little Jackies may want to note. They, sweet innocents that they are, appear to believe that locking people up is what Judges are for. Well, Resident Judges are paid £9,500 per annum more than Circuit Judges. Is it too bold, dear Diary, to imagine that they might do something for that money? One must allow that this may have been misreported so I will keep an eagle eye on the position and update you when I can. For now it looks as if Aidy’s bottle may have gone missing: it must be all those cocktail parties he is attending now that the season has arrived.

Still, I remain willing to offer my photograph to the winner of our competition. And Mistress Ruthie is just thrilled that some people could not wait to see what Aidy was going to do. Even now the lucky winner will be looking at her magnificent form and features. Ahh, dear Diary, if they could only see her when she had hold of her whip. But I digress.

Yours, in reverie

VM