Connie Man Dius

Dear Diary,

Mistress Ruthie has been gadding about like the Queen Bee she is (I gather that tonight sees some sort of musical entertainment - I do hope not at that place called - I believe - Ghastlybury) and promising to buy Greeklawyer food. The poor soul seems to require assistance and she is generous to a fault. Meanwhile, I have been reflecting on how the mighty have fallen.

I once met sweet little Babs and I know the pain she must be feeling now that Connie (and it seems, now, such an apt name) has been, as the vernacular has it, potted. I mean, dear Diary, where will the next sparkler come from? First dear Bobbsie, now Connie - the men who in my youth bestrode the News of My World are all, it seems, exiting stage right.

In the UK I believe Connie would get between 3 and 5: after all - he was acquitted (so pleasant to have some good news) of the Racketeering. I gather that in Illinois - still reeling, I am told, from that rather unpleasant business with Mr Capone - it may be longer. Well, one must do what one can in such difficult circumstances and readers who would like to contribute to the fund that will ensure that dear Babs has enough money for the bus fare to visit (as I am sure she will want to do daily) should let me know. I will make certain that all donations are put to a properly worthy use - certainly not to help Mistress Ruthie’s would-be dependants.

Yours as ever

VM

Indeed Ruthie has tonight been observing the popular beat combo that is Heather Smalls (fomerly of M people) and her band. And whilst it is her intention to feed Greeklawyer, fret not dear maiden, your place in my heart is secure. Many good people feed stray cats, without necessarily choosing to take them in.

As for Babs, the river of her tears at the thought of her sparkler on Ebay poor Connie suffering in jail is liable to stop the gulfstream, especially combined with the tears of hilarity from the defrauded shareholders.

English law is historically quaint when it comes to sentencing in fraud cases, city boys being basically decent chaps who were unlucky to get caught. Ruthie is surprised that the campaigning fervour that followed in the wake of the Enron scandal in the US was never transmitted via the special relationship to Southwark Crown Court. In Illinois however Connie can expect to receive the sentencing equivalent of electrodes strapped to his gonads, indeed he might prefer to have electrodes strapped to his gonads than spend the next 10 years discussing his life history with Barry the Blade, however I believe that option is only available in Texas.

Astonishingly Connie has in fact been granted bail pending sentence (I do so hate to be pedantic on these issues VM, and will waive your punishment on this occassion). If I were him I’d be using the time to call every friend I ever had with a private plane, although he should be cautious; in these post 9/11 days any suspicious flights are liable to be shot down..

Mistress Ruthie. x